Phone calls are a great way to keep in touch with a parent with dementia! They offer an easy way to enjoy a casual, calm conversation. However, dementia can be complex—it often affects a person’s ability to communicate. Fortunately, you can take small steps to create a supportive and relaxed atmosphere where the conversation can thrive.
To talk with a parent with dementia on the phone, try to:
- Understand where they’re coming from
- Limit distractions
- Be patient
- Don’t interrupt
- Use simple language
- Speak slowly & clearly
- Be reassuring
- Let our team help!
Understand Where They’re Coming From
Start by thinking about how dementia affects communication. This condition impacts memory, thinking, and language skills all at once. This can sometimes make it difficult for your loved one to follow a conversation. They could be dealing with disorientation, confusion, or challenges with recalling words or processing information.
Approach each phone call with empathy. Consider what they might be experiencing on their end of the line and adapt your approach accordingly. Instead of feeling frustrated when they repeat questions or forget details, try to focus on being understanding.
Limit Distractions
A quiet, calm setting can go a long way. Background noise or interruptions make it harder for them to engage in the conversation and can leave them feeling confused or distracted.
Here are a few tips to minimize distractions during your calls:
- Choose a quiet space for your conversation, free of loud TVs, music, or other chatter.
- Use headphones or a speakerphone if it helps reduce noise interference.
- Call at a time of day when your parent is most likely to be alert and relaxed.
- Avoid multitasking—give them your full attention.
When the environment is calm, it’s easier for your parent to concentrate and feel heard.
Be Patient
Patience is one of the most valuable tools when speaking with someone with dementia. Dementia can sometimes cause a person to:
- Lose their train of thought
- Repeat themselves
- Take longer to respond
- Become easily distracted
Don’t rush them. This makes the conversation more difficult—for both of you. Instead, take a deep breath and let the conversation unfold at its own pace.
Give them time to process your words and think of their response. If they get off track or seem confused, gently guide them back without worrying about the misstep. If you need it, take a moment here and there.
Don’t Interrupt
Interrupting or completing your loved one’s sentences might feel like a way to make things easier. But this isn’t quite the case—it can easily leave them feeling dismissed or frustrated.
Even if your parent is struggling to find the right word or explain something, give them space. Active listening makes a difference here—try to focus on what your loved one is saying and why they’re saying this. It can give you valuable insight into their thought process and what they’re going through.
Simple affirmations like “I understand” or “I hear you” can help them feel more at ease. Try pausing before each response as well, as this reduces the chance of interruptions. When they feel supported, they’re more likely to stay engaged in the conversation.
Use Simple Language
Clear communication is essential when dementia is involved. If you use complex phrases or overly detailed explanations, you’ll make things more confusing. So instead, try simplifying your language and focus on one idea at a time.
Instead of saying something like “I’ll call you this evening after I finish some errands,” try “I’ll call you tonight.” Or instead of asking “Do you think you’d like a sandwich or soup for lunch?” say “Would you like soup or a sandwich?”
Simplifying your language reduces the chances of miscommunication. It makes it easier to focus on what you’re asking, as your loved one won’t have to decipher several pieces of information at once. Simplicity is key!
Speak Slowly & Clearly
Speaking slowly can help your parent better follow what you’re saying. When you rush or slur your words, it makes the conversation harder for them to process. This causes unnecessary frustration and distractions.
Avoid using louder tones unless they have difficulty hearing. Speaking calmly and clearly, with pauses between sentences, reassures them, all while giving them time to take in the information. A warm and caring tone resonates better and fosters a more positive interaction!
Be Reassuring
Conversations aren’t just about words. They’re an opportunity to show your parent how much you care. Reassurance calms anxiety and makes it much easier to connect with one another!
Offer gentle encouragement during your calls. Phrases like “You’re doing great” or “I’m so glad we’re talking” can brighten their day. If they seem upset or confused, acknowledge their feelings with kindness and understanding.
A small reminder that they’re loved can have a lasting impact. These small moments of encouragement can give them the confidence to stay present in your conversations. It’s a simple and effective way to strengthen your bond and show your parent how much you care.
Let Our Team Help You
Caring for a parent with dementia requires patience, love, and a supportive approach. Clear communication easily turns a simple conversation into a meaningful connection. Your approach matters, and our memory care team at Kingston of Vermilion is here to help.
Contact us today to learn how we can support you and your loved one, or schedule a tour to see for yourself! Together, we can make a difference.
