As your parents age, it’s common to want them to live closer for many reasons. Whether you want to spend more time with them or want to help them maintain their health and independence, having your senior parents close by can be a wonderful experience.
Here are some steps you can take to make broaching the topic a positive experience for everyone involved:
- Choose the right time and place.
- Start the conversation off on a positive note.
- Address their emotional concerns with empathy.
- Highlight how the move won’t affect their independence.
- Explore all the options together to foster collaboration.
- Take your time, they don’t need to decide in a day.
Why Is Moving Closer an Important Discussion?
Life is all about transitions. As our parents age, it becomes increasingly important to consider their proximity to you and other loved ones. Living close to your parents can make it easier to stay involved in their day-to-day lives, assist with medical appointments, and be available during emergencies—all while fostering a greater sense of connection.
However, suggesting a move can involve emotional complexity. Our parents often feel deeply attached to their homes and communities; the idea of leaving can spark resistance or uncertainty. Approaching this conversation with care and compassion can help alleviate these tensions while focusing on the opportunities it presents.
Step 1: Choose the Right Time & Place
Picking the right moment to bring up this topic can set the tone for the entire discussion. Look for a calm, unhurried opportunity when your parents feel relaxed and at ease—perhaps during lunch, a walk, or while spending a quiet weekend together.
Ensure you choose a private and comfortable place, free from distractions. This will make them feel respected and safe, encouraging open dialogue. Reassure them from the beginning that the conversation is coming from a place of love and care.
Step 2: Start the Conversation Positively
People naturally respond better to conversations framed in a positive light. Focus on the benefits of moving closer, highlighting how doing so could improve their quality of life. Whether it’s spending more time with grandchildren, gaining easier access to support, or finally having that leak-free bathroom they’ve been talking about, find ways to make the idea appealing.
It’s important to use language that feels inclusive rather than directive. Instead of saying, “It’s time for you to move closer,” say something like, “I’d love to explore ways we could spend more time together. How do you feel about that?”
Step 3: Address Emotional Concerns with Empathy
For many seniors, their home is more than just a house, it’s a lifetime of memories and a symbol of independence. Be prepared for emotional resistance and ensure that you acknowledge your parents’ feelings without dismissing or minimizing them.
If they express sadness at leaving their home or community, listen attentively and validate their feelings. Phrases like “I understand how hard this must feel” or “It’s normal to feel hesitant about such a big change” can go a long way in building trust.
Step 4: Highlight Their Independence
One fear for aging parents might be the perception that a move may signal a loss of independence. Counteract this concern by emphasizing how moving closer is about maintaining (or even enhancing) their independence, not taking it away.
When appropriate, talk about how your proximity would allow them to have more freedom. For example, emphasize that you’ll be available to help them with tasks like driving them to appointments, handling house maintenance, or being close by for quick support instead of relying on faraway family members or acquaintances.
Step 5: Explore Options Together
Instead of making it feel like you’ve decided for them, involve your parents in exploring potential solutions. Discuss what kind of moves would align with their preferences, whether it’s downsizing to an apartment, moving to a retirement-friendly community, or even setting up a suite within your home for added privacy.
Step 6: Take Your Time
Remember, this conversation doesn’t need to have an immediate resolution. It’s okay if your parents need time to process the idea and come to terms with the emotions that discussion may stir up.
Show patience and a willingness to revisit the topic later. Follow up by building excitement, offering additional details about potential options, and keeping the dialogue open. Make sure you stress the benefits that a move could bring to both your and your senior parents’ lives.
Moving the Conversation Forward
Taking the first step toward talking with your senior parents about moving closer doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By approaching the conversation warmly, listening to their concerns, and highlighting the benefits, you can inspire them to consider a move that could truly enhance their lives—and yours.
At the Kingston Residence of Vermilion, we want to provide your adult parents with a quality living experience, no matter what lifestyle suits their needs. Schedule a tour today to see if our community could be right for your loved one.
